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Staro 13. 02. 2006.   #2
zextra
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Datum učlanjenja: 01.12.2005
Lokacija: Novi Sad
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Evo ga nastavak...
Citat:
FORTRAN:
1. You shoot yourself in each toe, iteratively, until you run out of toes, then you read in the next foot and repeat. If you run out of bullets, you continue anyway because you have no exception-handling ability.
2. You shoot yourself in each toe, iteratively, until you run out of toes; then you shoot the sixth bullet anyway since no exception processing was anticipated.

Genetic Algorithms: You create 10,000 strings describing the best way to shoot yourself in the foot. By the time the program produces the optimal solution, humans have evolved wings and the problem is moot.

HTML:
1. You shoot yourself in the foot, only to find out that no matter how gory the result looks, your foot keeps working. Your foot finally stops working when you stub your toe kicking the box the gun came in.
2. <a href="http://www.body.org/lower-half/left/foot.html">Shoot here</a>

HyperTalk:
1. Put the first bullet of the gun into foot left of leg of you. Answer the result.
2. You describe how to shoot yourself in the foot, which not only happens, but you also get cool visual effects.

Java:
1. You write a program to shoot yourself in the foot and put it on the Internet. People all over the world shoot themselves in the foot.
2. The gun fires just fine, but your foot can't figure out what the bullets are and ignores them.

LISP: You shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds ...

Logo:
1. You can easily shoot the gun, but first you have to work out the geometry to be sure the bullet goes into your foot.
2. You tell a turtle to draw a picture of a foot and a gun, then shoot the turtle.

Mathematica: You try to shoot yourself in the foot and then have to figure out why it didn't work.

Macsyma: You shoot yourself in the foot, but the hole appears in your head. You spend the rest of the day trying variations on option variables, until you stumble upon SHOOTFOOTMODE:True$ and SHOOTFOOTMODEWHICH:RIGHT$ ... Which are of course documented, but you couldnt find it until you knew the answer.

Maple: A ShootFoot function was not implemented in Release n, but will be included in Release n+1. Meanwhile, you may purchase Release n at the Release n+1 price (multiply the Release n price by 2.2, or by 3.7 outside North America.)

MED-PC: You can't shoot yourself in the foot, but you can train a pigeon to pull the trigger.

Microsoft C++ w/Windows SDK: You write about 100 lines of code to print "hello, world!" in a dialogue box, only to have a UAE pop up when you click on OK. This shuts down the program manager, leaving you nothing but a screensaver. You then fly to Washington and shoot Bill Gates in the foot.

Modula-2: After realizing that you can't actually accomplish anything in this language, you shoot yourself in the head.

MOO: You ask a wizard for a pair of hands. After lovingly handcrafting the gun and each bullet, you tell everyone that you've shot yourself in the foot.

Motif: You spend days writing a UIL description of your foot, the trajectory, the bullet, and the intricate scrollwork on the ivory handles of the gun. When you finally get around to pulling the trigger, the gun jams.

Objective-C: You write a protocol for shooting yourself in the foot so that all people can get shot in their feet.

Occam: You shoot both your feet with several guns at once.

Oracle: You decide to shoot yuourself in the foot and go out to buy a gun - except the gun won't work without "deploying" a shoulder holster solution, and relational titanium alloy bullets, and body armour infrastructure, and a laser sight assistant, and a retractable arm stock application, and an enterprise team of ballistics experts and a chiropodist.

ORCA/C: Byteworks keeps promising to supply good ammunition REAL SOON NOW.

Paradox: Not only can you shoot yourself in the foot, your users can too.

Pascal: The compiler won't let you shoot yourself in the foot.

Perl:
1. !($foot =~/left/) # ! read as "Bang!"
2. You Separate the bullet from the gun with a hyperoptimized regexp, and then you transport it to your foot using an array of arrays of arrays. However, the program fails to run and you can't correct it since you don't understand what the heck it is you've written.

PHP: If you're lucky and the HTTP connection doesn't time out, you shoot yourself in the foot.

PL/1: After consuming all system resources including bullets, the data processing department doubles its size, acquires two new mainframes and drops the original on your foot.

Prolog: You tell your program you want to be shot in the foot. The program figures out how to do it, but the syntax doesn't allow it to explain.

Prolog (interpreted): Your program tries to shoot you in the foot, but you die of old age before the bullet leaves the gun.

Revelation: You'll be able to shoot yourselfl in the foot just as soon as you figure out what all these bullets are for.

SAS:
1. You spend three hours trying to cut your way through your foot with a rock flake, only to realize that the language was invented before guns allowed you to shoot yourself in the foot interactively in one easy step with no programming.
2. You have no idea that the gun, the bullet, or your foot exists. The gun is locked in a safe in a bank vault on the other side of the galaxy, the bullet is locked in a safe in a bank vault in another galaxy, and the people who know the combinations for the safes and bank vaults died ten million years ago. Still, the gun goes off and fires the bullet through your foot.

Scheme: You shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds ... but none of the other appendages are aware of this happening.

sh,csh: You can't remember the syntax for anything, so you spend five hours reading man pages before giving up. You then shoot the computer and switch to C.

SmallTalk:
1. You spend so much time playing with the graphics and windowing system that your boss shoots you in the foot, takes away your workstation, and makes you develop in COBOL on a character terminal.
2. You daydream repeatedly about shooting yourself in the foot.

SNOBOL: If you succeed, shoot yourself in the left foot. If you fail, shoot yourself in the right foot.

SQL: You cut your foot off, send it out to a service bureau and when it returns, it has a hole in it, but will no longer fit the attachment at the end of your leg.

Unix:
1.
Kôd:
% ls foot.c foot.h foot.o toe.c toe.o
% rm * .o
rm: .o: No such file or directory
% ls
%
2.
Kôd:
% ls -a --color
man src MakeFile
% rm * .o
rm .o: No such file or directory
% make ShootFoot; make INSTALL
Visual Basic: You'll shoot yourself in the foot, but you'll have so much fun doing it that you won't care.

WorldBuilder: You can't shoot yourself in the foot, but you can shoot the feet of plenty of monsters.

XBase: Shooting yourself is no problem. If you want to shoot yourself in the foot, you'll have to use Clipper.

Z: You write out all the specifications of your foot, the bullet, the gun, and the relevant laws of physics, but all you can do is prove that you can shoot yourself in the foot.
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Poslednja izmena od zextra : 13. 02. 2006. u 22:12.
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